Update From the East Side

I know I said in my last post that I wouldn’t write for four months, but I have a few spare minutes in Starbucks with my teammate’s laptop, so…

For the past month, I have been traveling all over the Middle Colonies as a representative for Pensacola Christian College on Proclaim’s Drama Ministry Team. We have been doing services in many Churches and Youth Groups almost every day except Monday. It has been a blur, to say the least, and God has been flooding me with wisdom from Pastors and elders.

What has God been teaching me thus far?

The first and greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. And 1st John says that we love Him because He first loved us.

If you water a plant and keep it under sunlight, it can’t help but grow. Therefore, the key to spiritual growth is to constantly be watered by the Word of God, focusing on the Light of the world.

I know it’s simple, but I’d rather get my master’s in Christianity 101. #win

Fare Thee Well

Simply put, I will not have time to post as I finish up this college semester, and I will not have time to post this summer as I will be traveling on a summer drama team. These things being said, what will I write about considering this will be my final post for maybe four months?

I will write about Jesus.

One of the most basic facts about the Word of God is that it reveals His love. Jesus Christ and Him crucified is the centerpiece of all Scripture. Why His crucifixion? Because it sets the context of His love! He loved us such much that the Father sent His only begotten Son to bear His wrath towards our sin! He loves you, and He loves me. It’s simple, but it’s true. Yet somehow, this is something that I have struggled with..

I am never good enough! I am never smart enough! I am never disciplined enough! I could have done this more excellent! I could have said that more plain! I could have been more kind! I could love Jesus more! I must sacrifice more!

I am a child of God, and Jesus Christ, as weird as it is to say, is my spiritual brother. Therefore, Christ’s Father is my Father. He has given me commands on how to live my life, beginning with, “Love Me with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength!” Honestly, that’s a hefty command, and without obeying that command first, none of the other commandments will follow. Yet because I have fallen short..

God, I am a failure!

It’s sad as I type that, because even though that statement reflects my heart before God worked in my life, I am still tempted to believe it. Here’s the thing, this is why we must understand that everything in life comes back to Jesus and His Word! Why?! Because our success is not determined by our track record, but by Jesus’ track record! We will all fail time and time again! We will all fall short! Yet every day when the Father looks at us, He sees the righteousness of His Son!

This is the beauty of the Christian life: we do not obey to earn the Father’s approval; we obey because Christ has earned the Father’s approval. We may be chastened, but we will never be destroyed. We may be rebuked, but we will never be cast away! We may fall, but we will never be forced to stay down!

Yes, we will all stand before the judgement throne and everything we have ever said or done will be brought into account, but as my track record is listed off, my eyes will be fixed on the scars in my Lord’s wrists.

This is why we must strive every day to pursue God with complete abandon! Christ is worthy! He deserves it! The most incredible fact is that He doesn’t force us! He let’s us! He woos us! He longs for us! And when we trip and stumble when running after Him, we will not be remembered by our trips and falls!

I was dying in the prayer closet around a week ago, arguing that statement with God, “I am a failure!” “No, you are not.” “Hah! Yeah, right! Remember my laziness this past week?! Remember that comment I said?! Remember that person I neglected?! Tell me how I am not a failure!” Instantly a picture came to my mind of Jesus showing me the holes in His hands were nails went through. “This is why you are not a failure..”

I have one desire for these next four months: more of Jesus. In spite of how weird C. J. Murray is, Jesus is faithful. I am thankful for my Lord and Savior. I can never love Him too much, and when my love for Him falls short, His love for me never falls short.

What a wonderful thought!

Fare thee well, all.

Ramblings and Prayer Requests

I have a real problem: showing up to the mall not knowing what I am going to write about.

Honestly, I’ve never been busier in my entire life. Within the past week and a half, I have had to memorize an entire play script (a thirty-minute play; I have the lead role). I was recently informed that I will be traveling the entire summer with the PCC Proclaim Summer Drama Team, so I am currently memorizing multiple songs and drama pieces. I have an Accounting project to chip away at. I have a research paper to finalize. I have speeches to work on.

It’s mind melting, and yet.. every day has been so wonderful with Jesus. I suppose I can’t really hit any main point with this blog post, but every day with Jesus is sweeter than the last. His Word is so comforting, empowering, and convicting. I do, however, wish for more time for closet prayer.

It saddens to think that many Christians neglect the closet prayer. I miss it so badly. I have been so busy, meanwhile recovering from a cold, and waking up at 5:30 to pray is certainly not the most beneficial to overcome sickness. Closet prayer is so much more than “ditching friends to pray” or “losing sleep to pray.” It’s drawing near to the God of the universe in a very intimate and necessary way to bring His will to earth.

If it weren’t for communing with God in the prayer closet, I’d be robbed of so many things in my life at this very moment. Every day God seems to be answering small prayers. My days seem to be filled with divine appointments and needed conversations. My peace is the result of prayer. My strength is the result of prayer. My wisdom and diligence is the result of prayer. Why prayer? Prayer connects me to Jesus Christ and brings His will to earth. Without prayer, His will does not and will not come to earth.

It was around four or five days ago that I had a complete meltdown: mentally, emotionally, spiritually… I went to the prayer closet, fought it through, went out to my friends to work on homework, and then everything blew up all over again. I bring up this instance to say that spiritual warfare has become more real than ever before. As a friend worded it to me, “The enemy has a target on your back.” That night, there was about four to five hours of wrestling before God finally came through with the already won victory.

One of the things that God has taught me is that I need not be ashamed of my spiritual struggle. My spiritual struggle is the result of sprinting forward as hard as I possibly can in the power of Jesus Christ. “What weight can I set aside?” “What barrier can be broken down?” “What area of my life has yet to be surrendered to Jesus Christ?” And as a result, everywhere I turn seems to be riddled with pain. Though it’s easy to be discouraged by said pain, as a friend told me,

Don’t you know that Jacob had to wrestle all night with Jesus Christ before He could get the blessing? He said, “I will not let thee go except thou bless me!” Do not let God go! Keep on struggling! Keep on wrestling! His Word is true and He will not let you down!

It all comes back to simply this: “Love God and keep His commandments.” It’s saying, “Jesus, how can I love you more and obey your commandments?” Isn’t it lovely how simple the Christian life is?

And now that I think about it, within the past week and a half, God has taken away an enormous amount of pain. He has answered prayer in many ways within a specific area of my life, and as I have followed Him, He has led me further into His love and led me out of flames which I had been led through for so long.

The problem is that I feel like I’m walking on thin ice. I need prayer and badly. It has been remarkable just how many friends have been commenting to me how much they are praying for me. I, in turn, have been doing my very best in praying for all of my friends and family as well. I desperately need God’s guidance and am seeking Him more than ever.

None the less, let it be known that as always, I trust my God. He knows what He is doing. As for me, I really need to work on Accounting. I understand the subject, but application! I need to apply myself! That is my current plight. It is very difficult to work very hard on what I am not passionate about. I long for a passion for Accounting, but I seem to be drowning. I need prayer for that as well.

Thank you all so much.

God will work.


Onward March

I cannot begin to describe the spiritual warfare that has taken place since last Saturday. God has moved in my life and in all of my friends’ lives, and from the moment God first moved, the enemy picked up pace and charged straight ahead.

I have felt it: the weight of the enemy surrounding me and whispering lies into my ear. Often the enemy has simply reminded me of situations that I’m in. Statements of fact. “Remember, this is going on.” “Just think back to this..” “Don’t forget this is happening!” And there have been days where I have crumbled beneath the pressure.

“Wow! That’s right! This is going on! Oh, no! I don’t see Jesus in this! God! Help me! Please!”

But listen..

Never observe how high the waves are.
Never pay attention to how hard the wind is blowing.
Never take thought as to how dark the clouds are.
Never think through the laws of physics.

Only look to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, and walk on water!

I can honestly say with all my heart that Jesus is winning. He has already won. He said, “It is finished!” and He meant it! Tomorrow will be just as painful as today, but that doesn’t meant my Savior doesn’t live inside of me and ever lives to intercede for me. Spiritual warfare is an adventure when Jesus is the one fighting. He is a man of war. He never loses a single battle.

As for Satan, he is a prince of lies. Nothing he can ever say is 100% truth. What God’s Word says is fact. What He promises will come to pass. He knows what He is doing. There is nothing that He does not know. There is nothing that He is not in complete control of. His Word is all I need to know, and prayer fills in the gaps.

I look forward to arriving in heaven and hearing heaven’s perspective on these transpiring events. It will be grand beyond compare.

As for today? Well..

Onward march!

They Who Built Me

This is a list of people whom God has used to build me into who I am today. This list includes family and friends from highschool, college, church, training programs, and drama programs. I attribute one quote (which mostly defines how they influenced or encouraged me) to each person, but each person, no matter what was said, has mostly influenced me with his or her life. I give the first and last initials of their names so that if they happen to read down the list, they might see themselves listed. Probably four-fifths of these people won’t ever read this post; nonetheless, it is worth writing, if not to remind myself, then to edify anyone who reads.

“I’m proud of you. You’re a man now.” W. G.

“God has some big plans for you, sirio.” K. G.

“I don’t believe that love is something you fall into. Love is something you grow into.” S. S.

“It’s time you man up about Truth! God has given you the ability to grasp It, so make a decision in your soul and believe!” E. L.

“I have high aspirations for you. You’re humble, willing, and seeking the Lord.” J. H.

“Don’t mess around. Seek the Lord and stay focused.” P. H.

“You’re afraid to be transparent with friends because they’ll hurt you, but that’s Christianity: being hurt by friends and loving them regardless.” N. S.

“When you go to college, two things: stay in the Word and stay in prayer. Without those two things, you’re done for.” N. J.

“Sometimes God leads us down a path, not for the destination, but for the gem found at the end, even if its a dead end.” R. P.

“There is no coincidence in the Christian life.” J. M.

“Your piano piece, Toccata, inspires me to keep on keeping on.” B. M.

“’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.” K. W.

“In life, the world is going to try and destroy you with questions. I ask you questions to prepare you. If you can’t handle me, you won’t be able to handle the world.” J. M.

“Did you wrestle with God in prayer this morning? Do not leave the presence of God without being in the proper relationship with Him.” B. M.

“How much we are used of God does not compare with how much of us He can use.” E. H.

“Just remember, no matter where you go in life, you will always have music!” J. M.

“You will make mistakes. That’s life, but God will uphold you through your mistakes.” B. M.

“Reading about Uncle Tom dieing whets my thirst for heaven, when I will see Jesus, and sin will be done away with!” K. M.

“You and your older brother are very different. Don’t fill his shoes. Wear out your own.” B. W.

“When you go to college, don’t fall off your friends’ map. They need you, and you need them.” J. W.

“Remember that no matter how high you go up the business latter, you are not there to serve man. You are there to serve God. Stay humble no matter where you are.” A. O.

“I don’t care about your music. In a sense, I do, but there are more important things in life! There are kids out there whose mother’s are on crack, and they need the Gospel!” J. M.

“Even the way that you eat will determine how much energy you will have to serve your future wife.” D. A.

“No matter where you are or what you are doing, you are in the ministry!” C. G.

“There’s no question whether or not you’ll be in the music ministry. God has already used your musical gifts in the ministry.” M. R.

“You can never tell how spiritually strong someone is by looking at the surface. Just because some guy did something spiritual that you have never done, doesn’t mean that he has gone through what you’ve gone through, and because you have gone through what he hasn’t, you could be ten times stronger. Vice versa.” J. R.

“Be a man of prayer.” D. M.

Gavin and Evangelism

So I was sitting in front of Starbucks praying about what God wanted me to write when a middle-aged man stopped in front of me and stared. According to gut reaction and social etiquette, I closed my laptop and said hello. His name was Gavin, and it didn’t take long to realize that he had a mental disorder. His mother had dropped him off at the mall with the intention of picking him up at a later time, and I suppose he just wanted someone to talk to.

Leading up to this moment, God has been working on my heart for quite some time. He’s been giving me a burden about something I’m not proud of: not having a burden for souls. Call me unspiritual, but I’m calling a spade of spades and being honest. There are souls going to hell, and my heart barely skips a beat. I walk through the public and have a remnant of sadness because few know Christ, but is there a burden to break down in tears and weep because the God of the universe has made Himself known in the flesh and many don’t even realize the fact?


The college I’m at runs ministry opportunities called “Christian Services” which are largely evangelistic. This semester is the first time that I have actually done Christian Service and gone out to evangelize, but the real question is this: when I’m not on Christian Service, not on the clock, not receiving collegian points, am I still reaching for souls? It all comes down to this question: do I truly know the heart of God?


Because if I did know the heart of God, I would be moved to action. Why? Jesus was moved to action and He died. But here is where I want you, the reader, to connect. I want to know the heart of God. The heart of God comes down to one thing: Jesus Christ and Him crucified. And if the heart of God revolves around Jesus Christ and Him crucified, what’s the one way to know the heart of God? Simple. Revolve everything in life around Jesus Christ and Him crucified. How does that happen? Day in and day out, it is meditating on who Jesus is and what He has done. It is praying without ceasing and striving to know Jesus Christ more than ever before. It is nothing less than picking up the cross and following Him in moment by moment situations.

Now, back to Gavin.

For whatever reason, it was a divine appointment. He knew who Jesus was and could agree with everything that I was saying about Him, but as I explained who Jesus was to me and what He has done in my life, I could see something turning in His soul, as though he had seen something that he had never seen before.

What’s this turning? Read through the history of those dead guys who carried the heart of God. They didn’t just speak about God. God spoke through them. Wherever they went, people saw God! Charles Spurgeon would walk into a town, and the very sight of him would convict people. John Hyde would come out of prayer with a state of soul that would bring people to tears within minutes. To tell the Gospel is only half the battle; the world is in desperate need of people who are living the Gospel.

I’m a Christian, and yet I’m not where I ought to be, but God answers prayer, and because God’s burdened me to pray about not having a burden, I can count on the fact that He is on His way to weighing down my soul with His heart!

Even then, to tell people the Gospel is sheer obedience, whether I feel like it or not. He commanded it.

It was just as much a conviction to type this as it probably was to read.

We need You, Jesus.

Jesus Moves Most Under Attack

This past week has been an adventure.
Every day has been an uphill battle.
Every hour has been a challenge.
Every moment has held high stakes.

I’m under attack.

The enemy has one strategy: distract at all cost!
When sight of Jesus Christ and Him crucified is lost,
Even if it is for one week, day, hour, or moment,
The enemy has free reign to wreak havoc galore!

I’m under attack.

The enemy attacks the awakened.
The enemy attacks the visionary.
The enemy attacks the moving.
The enemy attacks the offensive.

I’m under attack.

This week I was distracted many times.
This week I stumbled many times.
This week I failed many times.
This week I lost many battles.

I’m under attack.

This week Jesus was more faithful than my unfaithfulness!
This week Jesus picked me up every single time I fell!
This week Jesus succeeded more than my failure!
This week Jesus won more battles than my losses!

Jesus is moving.

This week was stock full of Jesus being Jesus!
This week was stock full of complete one-eighties!
This week was stock full of prayers being answered!
This week was stock full of epic victories!

Jesus is moving.

This week Jesus proved omniscient!
This week Jesus proved omnipresent!
This week Jesus proved omnipotent!
This week Jesus proved victorious!

Jesus is moving.

This week God taught me how to look to Him when I’m down.
No matter how much the enemy may attempt to destroy me,
Jesus Christ and Him crucified is the solid rock higher than I.
And though ten thousand encamp against me, I will not fear, because..

Jesus is moving.

When The Beautiful Tank Goes Really Fast

This past week was the first week of my second semester of college. Seventeen credits, papers due, scripts to memorize, notes to study – it’s been a quick start on a rough road.

None-the-less, I have but one priority: time with Jesus Christ in the Word and prayer, and thus far, this is what I have discovered: the Word is like a blueprint for a car (history manual included), and prayer is like the fuel for the car. I read the Word to saturate in knowing who my God is, who I am in Him, what He’s done, what He’s going to do, and what He commands me to do. Good stuff right?! Yeah! But the Lord’s prayer was, “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” This means that, without prayer, God’s will has no channel to come to earth. The car will never start. I can look at the car all I want and say, “Whoa! That car is like a tank, space shuttle, and Porsche, all combined into one beautiful monster!” but without fuel (and space shuttles require a lot), it’s completely worthless!

All of that being said, I suppose the question is, “Okay, that’s a great analogy and all, but what’s happened with you the past week?!” Well, all I can say is.. the car has gone really fast!

Actually, instead of calling it a car, I’ll call it the Beautiful Tank! I say “tank” because it’s unstoppable! Nothing can hinder it, deter it, veer it, change it, or break it! “How would you know?” is the question. As I stated previously, I have spent the last week inside the Beautiful Tank (aka Jesus Christ), and It has proven undefeatable.

My burdens pile up, my stress levels rise, my diligence wanes, my energy levels fall, my thoughts go haywire, and then I look to Jesus. He looks back at me with a smile and says, “Step on the accelerator.” “I can’t!” I shout back. “You’re right, you can’t, but I can! Just ask Me and I will!” and as the prayer closet takes a forefront priority in my life, suddenly, the car’s mechanics are lubricated, and it’s full of unlimited fuel! Me sprinting ten miles per hour is suddenly me reclining in a Beautiful Tank going two-hundred miles per hour.

There is nothing that I have between God and I that is not a result of simply asking in prayer.

When I read the Word, God shows me how the Beautiful Tank works, what It can do, how fast It can go, Its track record, and how to use It. That is why it is so important to be meditating on God’s Word all day along, but more specifically, Jesus Christ and Him Crucified. Why? Jesus Christ and Him crucified is the Beautiful Tank. His crucifixion is what brought Him into me and me into Him, and when I am in constant communion with Him and constantly being filled with the Spirit, it is just as Paul says, “It is no longer I who live but Christ in me!”

That being said, I look around to many students who are struggling already or maybe even running very fast, but I can’t help but cringe. They are running in their own strength! They will get tired soon enough! And even if they make it to the end, I doubt God will receive much glory. Why? Because they were maybe in the Word each morning, and maybe spent some time in prayer. Is that bad? No. Is that sufficient? No! “Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, all thy soul, all thy mind, and all thy strength!” Being in the Word and prayer is a 24/7 lifestyle. Even if a little time is spent in the Word, we must meditate on it all day long and chew over everything with much prayer and communion throughout all we do.

Has God taught me to spend a lot of time in the Word and prayer? Yes. Have people called me crazy? Yes. “Leave time to study and stuff..” However, I am beginning to think they’re the ones who are crazy. God has been giving me more wisdom on how to use my time in school work and study than I have ever had in my entire life. The more time I spend seeking the Lord, the more I learn to use my time throughout the day. I think of Martin Luther who said, “I have so much to do today, I will spend the first three hours in prayer.”

Granted, it’s only been a week, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t found the secret! It has been my prayer that what God has shown me will be guarded and applied the entirety of the semester, and I have no doubt that He will! I am so excited to see what’s down the road, and I intend to take it on full force side by side with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

It’s a Beautiful Tank. Every Christian is inside. Seek Him,
And He’ll show you just how beautiful it is,
Just like He’s shown me!

Starbucks Saturday

Towards the latter part of winter break, it really occurred to me that I want to keep up this website. Naturally then, I need to keep on posting. The problem is that hardly anyone reads anything I put up because my posts are very few and far between.

Part of what contributed to that issue last semester was the fact that WordPress is blocked by my college wi-fi. However! On Saturdays, college shuttle buses drive students to Walgreens, Walmart, and the mall. And at the mall is a Starbucks with free wi-fi; henceforth, I am able to post.

So here is my commitment, every Saturday I am going to go the mall and post something. Sometimes, I might even schedule multiple posts to be posted throughout the week. Nonetheless, count on this: a post by Saturday evening, every Saturday for the next four months.

Sounds good? Good. *high five*

Every Day is Beautiful

This next semester begins what I would consider one of the most fresh starts of my entire life.

Why? Because during this Christmas break, a plethora of things fell through in my life. Plans collapsed. Expectations were demolished. Dreams were lost, and what I thought was chapter nine and ten has suddenly placed me back at chapter one.

However, God has taught me something marvelous through all the pain and confusion. Isn’t it a wonderful thing to not know what’s down the road? Because if we knew, we would make decisions based on what we thought would lead us there, but that would be called taking matters into our own hands, which, last time I checked, never ends well.

The fact that today is a day to be spent with Jesus Christ is enough for me. What I know I need to do today is all that I need to know I need to do. The future is in the hands of God, and who am I to guess or think through what He’s holding when He hasn’t opened up His hands yet? When God leaves us clueless about tomorrow, it’s simply another revelation of His infinite love and knowledge. He gives us the grace to take life each day at a time, while He handles life infinity at a time.

I have no clue what will happen next, and by the gracious hand of God, I have no expectations of possibilities from here on out,

But this I know: Jesus Christ and Him crucified.

He alone is the only thing that I’ll ever need to know!

This semester, I ask for more of Jesus than ever before,

And every day will be more beautiful than the last.