Let’s Go On An Adventure

It is 3 am, and my colleagues and I graduate from college tomorrow. Well… today. Whatever.

Within 8 hours we will receive diplomas. Mine represents a degree in Accounting.

However, there is a hunch that runs through my veins. Maybe it runs in yours as well. It is an adrenaline rush that aches for adventure. It is a child’s wish while blowing out his birthday cake candles. It is a vision. It is a storyline that, even if it does not top the storyline in the book next to it on the shelf, it is unique – just like yours.

Do you feel it? Does your heartbeat begin to race? Do you open God’s Word and feel a weight on your chest which crumbles under the thought, “My child, adventure is out there!”? And even if you do not “feel” the weight, maybe you still know it is there, and that is enough to move forward. Moving forward takes faith.

But you see, you do not need as much faith as you may think. Christ termed a mustard seed’s worth as moving a mountain. Here is the best part though: Jesus is talking to you! He is talking to me! He is speaking into that very dose of epicness that is flowing through our veins. He is saying, “Forget how much faith you think you have or do not have. Just… move forward!”

I do not know about you, but I have prayed many a prayer towards the direction of my life. We all do now and again. But there is something special about tomorrow, or… today… *head scratch* Something defining. Whatever the ultimate storyline of my life is, I am willing to take a bet that this is the turning point that God’s plotline in my life has been waiting for.

So friends, whatever the future holds, let us be brave! May our prayers be larger than our dreams, and our dreams larger than our realities! Let us open God’s Word with childlikeness afresh and approach His presence with boldness, confidence, and security. These are the things concealed and presented to us within the gift of salvation.

So how about it?

Let’s go on an adventure!

I Let Go of the End of My Rope (SOS)

WARNING: PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION…

Have you ever seemed to just completely lose faith?

Well, that’s where I’m at this very moment. This may be the most prideful move I could make yet, but I’m about to type what I don’t have the guts to even tell the closest people in my life right now. Every dear friend and family member has done everything in their power to encourage, exhort, rebuke, and help me, and I’m tired of letting them all down. Why go back and tell them I’ve fallen, when clearly what they told me before did not have a truly lasting effect on my life.

Have you ever had all the answers, yet they didn’t seem to change anything?

Fact: Jesus Christ IS the Son of God, LIVED a perfect life, DIED for my sins, ROSE from the grave, and is SEATED on His throne. Yet for some reason, that doesn’t affect anything. I’ve spent lots of time in the Scriptures and in prayer, but the fervency is gone. I’ve lost the knowledge of what even to ask for. I’ve lost care. I KNOW there are people that are going to hell, but… my eyes still turn towards myself.

Have you ever felt like that one loophole in the system?

Well, it sure seems like I fell through it. For all the prayers that I’ve prayed, where am I but back in a deep, dark pit? Don’t get me wrong, God hasn’t changed. God is God. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. It seems like I’m the loophole. Not Him. So many people in my life have told me, “CJ, you fall down, but one thing is for certain: you always get back up.” But what if I’ve changed? Time takes a toll on a person.

Have you ever…

Fill in the blank. Why am I writing this? I don’t know. Maybe someone will see me as a blank slate and be willing to say a fervent prayer or two. I’m tired of going to my same friends and family to lift me up only to watch me fall again… I’m tired of being Mr. Extreme Pendelum. I’m tired of shedding tears next to them… I’m tired, Jesus… so tired… I know Matthew 11:28-30. I KNOW it. I KNOW Psalm 34:4. I KNOW Psalms 23. But it seems to end there.

Worst of all… I’m tired of talking myself back to Truth. That seems to have been a staple trait as seen by everyone in my life. But in hours like this, some staples just seem to fall out.

But I suppose… I’d be a fool if I didn’t include this last thought that runs through my mind as I write. This past summer there was a point when I was at my lowest, and my coworkers and I were painting a house of a lady who happened to be a Christian. Her name was Mrs. Smart. On the third day, she called me into her house and handed me a wooden cross and said, “Two of my husbands have died of cancer. One of them held one of these as he died. I’m giving this to you so that you can always remember that in your darkest hour when all else fails, you can ALWAYS hold on to the cross…”

The thought right after I wrote that was this, “Yeah, well, what about when my grip slips?”

Haha, well, I guess… praise God that since I died and rose with Him, the cross will NEVER lose its grip on me…

If anyone happens to read this… a prayer or two would be appreciated.

Warrior Poet’s Log – May 12th, 2016

These are the nights that define us. When the enemy surrounds us in our darkest hour, to whom will we turn? Will we flinch or will we raise the banner? Will we stand when all else fall? Will we grit our teeth and charge into the abyss of uncertainty with complete certainty in our God? Many claim a testimony of gained growth in Christ after doubting outside the courts of weighty trial, but such a testimony pales in comparison to those who stand firm beside their Lord in the center of hell’s jury.

These are the nights that define us. When everything within threatens to cry, do we squelch the tears and shout for victory though no victory be in sight? Victory that is seen requires no faith, but without faith it is impossible to please Him, therefore it is in our darkest hour that our true faith is revealed. And as our good Lord asked, “When the Son of Man cometh, will He find faith on earth?”

These are the nights that define us. And this is the night that will henceforth define me. I have cried my way to crosses before, but not tonight. No, this time I accept the nails as my friends. I do not and cannot see my Lord’s plan, but I accept my present fate with a wry grin and a growl in my soul. Though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be swept into the midst of the sea, I will not fear. I trust my God to the end. His will be done and His kingdom come. Amen, and amen.