Let’s Go On An Adventure

It is 3 am, and my colleagues and I graduate from college tomorrow. Well… today. Whatever.

Within 8 hours we will receive diplomas. Mine represents a degree in Accounting.

However, there is a hunch that runs through my veins. Maybe it runs in yours as well. It is an adrenaline rush that aches for adventure. It is a child’s wish while blowing out his birthday cake candles. It is a vision. It is a storyline that, even if it does not top the storyline in the book next to it on the shelf, it is unique – just like yours.

Do you feel it? Does your heartbeat begin to race? Do you open God’s Word and feel a weight on your chest which crumbles under the thought, “My child, adventure is out there!”? And even if you do not “feel” the weight, maybe you still know it is there, and that is enough to move forward. Moving forward takes faith.

But you see, you do not need as much faith as you may think. Christ termed a mustard seed’s worth as moving a mountain. Here is the best part though: Jesus is talking to you! He is talking to me! He is speaking into that very dose of epicness that is flowing through our veins. He is saying, “Forget how much faith you think you have or do not have. Just… move forward!”

I do not know about you, but I have prayed many a prayer towards the direction of my life. We all do now and again. But there is something special about tomorrow, or… today… *head scratch* Something defining. Whatever the ultimate storyline of my life is, I am willing to take a bet that this is the turning point that God’s plotline in my life has been waiting for.

So friends, whatever the future holds, let us be brave! May our prayers be larger than our dreams, and our dreams larger than our realities! Let us open God’s Word with childlikeness afresh and approach His presence with boldness, confidence, and security. These are the things concealed and presented to us within the gift of salvation.

So how about it?

Let’s go on an adventure!

I Let Go of the End of My Rope (SOS)

WARNING: PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION…

Have you ever seemed to just completely lose faith?

Well, that’s where I’m at this very moment. This may be the most prideful move I could make yet, but I’m about to type what I don’t have the guts to even tell the closest people in my life right now. Every dear friend and family member has done everything in their power to encourage, exhort, rebuke, and help me, and I’m tired of letting them all down. Why go back and tell them I’ve fallen, when clearly what they told me before did not have a truly lasting effect on my life.

Have you ever had all the answers, yet they didn’t seem to change anything?

Fact: Jesus Christ IS the Son of God, LIVED a perfect life, DIED for my sins, ROSE from the grave, and is SEATED on His throne. Yet for some reason, that doesn’t affect anything. I’ve spent lots of time in the Scriptures and in prayer, but the fervency is gone. I’ve lost the knowledge of what even to ask for. I’ve lost care. I KNOW there are people that are going to hell, but… my eyes still turn towards myself.

Have you ever felt like that one loophole in the system?

Well, it sure seems like I fell through it. For all the prayers that I’ve prayed, where am I but back in a deep, dark pit? Don’t get me wrong, God hasn’t changed. God is God. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. It seems like I’m the loophole. Not Him. So many people in my life have told me, “CJ, you fall down, but one thing is for certain: you always get back up.” But what if I’ve changed? Time takes a toll on a person.

Have you ever…

Fill in the blank. Why am I writing this? I don’t know. Maybe someone will see me as a blank slate and be willing to say a fervent prayer or two. I’m tired of going to my same friends and family to lift me up only to watch me fall again… I’m tired of being Mr. Extreme Pendelum. I’m tired of shedding tears next to them… I’m tired, Jesus… so tired… I know Matthew 11:28-30. I KNOW it. I KNOW Psalm 34:4. I KNOW Psalms 23. But it seems to end there.

Worst of all… I’m tired of talking myself back to Truth. That seems to have been a staple trait as seen by everyone in my life. But in hours like this, some staples just seem to fall out.

But I suppose… I’d be a fool if I didn’t include this last thought that runs through my mind as I write. This past summer there was a point when I was at my lowest, and my coworkers and I were painting a house of a lady who happened to be a Christian. Her name was Mrs. Smart. On the third day, she called me into her house and handed me a wooden cross and said, “Two of my husbands have died of cancer. One of them held one of these as he died. I’m giving this to you so that you can always remember that in your darkest hour when all else fails, you can ALWAYS hold on to the cross…”

The thought right after I wrote that was this, “Yeah, well, what about when my grip slips?”

Haha, well, I guess… praise God that since I died and rose with Him, the cross will NEVER lose its grip on me…

If anyone happens to read this… a prayer or two would be appreciated.

The Value of Trying

There are various posts in the works, but I suppose there isn’t much said (or anything said for that matter) that’s… “real.”

So… here I am being real!

Chuck Norris Gif 1.gif

Oops, sorry. That still wasn’t “real.” But I thought you would enjoy that anyway.

It never ceases to amaze me how God has wired us as humans to be able to change. The brain, the body, and everything involved has the capability to learn new habits. And all too often we sell ourselves short because “we can’t do something.” Well, okay, maybe you can’t! But have you tried? Failed? Well, try again! Then try again! And again! How do you suppose sanctification is supposed to work?!

Listen. Psalm 103:14, “For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.” God understands when we fail (to an extent because sometimes we’re just plain stupid). Proverbs 24:16, “For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.”

This semester God has been “rewiring me” so to speak. I prayed, “God, change me” and God quickly stuck His hand into the details of my life and basically was like, “So… you realize that isn’t what I would consider excellent, right?” To be frank, I have failed 100 times. And ironically enough, I’ll fail 100 more times! The best part is: that’s okay. It is the grandest privilege in the universe to try, fail, repeat the process 100 times, and still have an all-knowing God love me the same amount either way!

I’m studying for a final right now, but I thought I would take a moment to post something. It’s too bad there isn’t time to delve into tons of detail. That would be nice…

Merry Christmas!

Important Sidenote

It’s on my agenda to write the detailed story of how God has been working in my heart, but for the time being, classes are hitting me hard and there are other writing projects in the works.

Until then, I shall state the bottom line:

God is leading me to the foreign mission field and I have been accepted as Graduate Assistant into PCC’s Masters of Divinity program.

God is so good, guys! SO good… I’ll explain later in more vivid detail. 😉

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A Prayer

God, you remember this journal! You remember all of those wonderful things which You posted through me. You remember the words that were shared and the heart that was poured out! You remember it all much better than I do.

Make this journal a public testament to Your grace. Remake and reboot this according to what You are doing in my life. I pray that the world would see nothing short of Jesus Christ and Him crucified. May they see what is possible if we lay our lives before You and let You call all the shots.

Give me poems that I never thought I could conjure…
Give me stories that reflect the dreams I’ve forgotten…
Give me music that I thought had altogether left my veins…
Give me testimonials that drop jaws and reveal Your power…

May the overflow of my heart encourage others in their travels as well.

Thank You, Lord.

Amen.

Nevermind, Cap

Okay, so… I’m going back on something, and this Captain America GIF is to somewhat convey the awkwardness of it, meanwhile, add some awesomeness (because he’s just that cool).
The Hand on Face Pondering Look
Posting every Saturday is turning out to be extremely difficult, and it will continue to be, especially in the up and coming semester. Furthermore, one thing I’m intending to do this next semester is working extremely hard on Saturdays so that on Sunday I can just chill with literally no game plan except Church, time with God, time with friends, food, and rest.

That being said I’m cutting out the weekly posting thing. I have some pretty cool posts in the works, but I don’t want to rush anything or post something that’s sub-par. I want every post to be genuine, well thought through, edited, and revised until it’s the best it can be.

I’ll keep on writing on posting, but not systematically. Just being real.

Here’s one more Captain America GIF to close us out…Pulling Airplane.gif
#lifegoals #givemeafewworkouts

Romans 8

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.
For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh:
That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.
For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.
So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.
But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his.
10 And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.
11 But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.
12 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh.
13 For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.
14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
15 For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
16 The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
17 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
19 For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.
20 For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope,
21 Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.
22 For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now.
23 And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.
24 For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?
25 But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.
26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
27 And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.
30 Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.
31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
32 He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?
33 Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God’s elect? It is God that justifieth.
34 Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.